National Lampoon's Magical Wedding Vacation posted
I really hate to rain on someone's wedding, which I won't do. But I'm totally about to blow up about traveling to Kevi's wedding. Omg.
So first of all, Thursday, Zach, Amy, Kari, and I were scheduled to fly out of Des Moines around 5pm and show up in Orlando at 10:30pm. So we arrived at the DSM airport around 3:45 to check in, when we met an NWA employee named Betty. Imagine Betty as the bus driving Chris Farley in Billy Madison - only thinner, older, and more female. She was totally stressed out, mumbling things under her breath, and yelling at people. There was one point when her glasses were falling off her face and she had 2 phones - 1 on each ear. I completely missed a golden photo opportunity. So anyway, Betty informed us that there was a 3 hour delay due to high winds in Minneapolis (where our plane was arriving from). So we all stress out because we'd miss our connecting flight and end up having to fly to Memphis, stay the night, and fly to Orlando the next morning.
We then went through security to our gate to find out the flight was completely on time - after we'd just rebooked our second flight. So we went to the desk ready to yell, when the lady told us the flight was only 20 minutes late and already on its way to DSM from MPLS. It still put us too close to make our second flight, but at least we wouldn't be waiting in the Des Moines airport for hours... and maybe we'd be able to go play on Beal St in Memphis. I've wanted to check that out pretty bad lately.
So, we soon boarded our plane and landed in Memphis, got reservations to a hotel 7 miles from the airport, and grabbed a cab. After we got in the cab, the driver told us there was a flat rate of $41 - we all giggled. I played along saying the hotel was only 7 miles away, we giggled more, then we started to notice the meter wasn't running. When we got to the hotel - he in fact was not joking. Apparently in that 7 miles we crossed into the state of Mississippi, which is like a $30 fee, plus airport fees, plus extra people fees. I hate Memphis, Tennessee and I hate Southaven, Mississippi. If you ever get stuck in Memphis, make sure you don't cross the border. I could've rented a damn car for cheaper than our cab fee. wtf.
That said, we didn't make it to Beal St like we'd hoped. We were all so broke and couldn't afford more cab fees back and forth across the state line. I was so mad I almost punched things. ... So we celebrated with a quick swim in a buggy pool and dinner at Chilis.
Friday, we woke up and found a Mississippi based cab company called Mr Taxi. Mr Taxi was much nicer and cheaper. Brand new Lincoln Towncar back to the Memphis airport for $18. Which leads me to another thing that sucks about Memphis. There is no Dewski to be found anywhere - at least in the NWA/Delta Concourse. I mean anywhere. I know that Coca Cola has most airports taken over, but normally you can find 1 super secret Pepsi machine hidden in a random terminal. Not in the God forsaken city of Memphis Tennessee. You POS.
So we arrived in Orlando and Amy's luggage was lost - RAD! It was apparently never scanned, ever. There was absolutely no trace of it ever being at an airport aside from our baggage receipt. So while they were dealing with that, Kari and I went to rent a car, which we planned on being $150 or less. However, desperately needing a crash course in how to rent vehicles, I accepted the insurance and gas refill option which put us at $270 for a car. Thanks for raping me, Alamo. I then called Kari's dad to ask wtf was up, he laughed a lot, and said don't ever get the 2 options that I got. I made Kari go deal with it before I broke down. She got it down to $103.
Finally, we got our Malibu Maxx, met Kevi for lunch, and went to the hotel to find that Zach's soap had exploded in his luggage. The bottle was completely empty and all over his clothes.
The trip to florida was basically mass confusion, flight delays, an extra day of travel, $60 in cab rides, an extra hotel, no dewski, lost luggage, getting raped by Alamo, and exploding soap in luggage.
I really wouldn't have minded so much had we not all been so broke going into this. It was a fiasco to say the least. I hated it.
I'll write more about Kevi's wedding weekend once I get less riled up about this blog, haha.
So first of all, Thursday, Zach, Amy, Kari, and I were scheduled to fly out of Des Moines around 5pm and show up in Orlando at 10:30pm. So we arrived at the DSM airport around 3:45 to check in, when we met an NWA employee named Betty. Imagine Betty as the bus driving Chris Farley in Billy Madison - only thinner, older, and more female. She was totally stressed out, mumbling things under her breath, and yelling at people. There was one point when her glasses were falling off her face and she had 2 phones - 1 on each ear. I completely missed a golden photo opportunity. So anyway, Betty informed us that there was a 3 hour delay due to high winds in Minneapolis (where our plane was arriving from). So we all stress out because we'd miss our connecting flight and end up having to fly to Memphis, stay the night, and fly to Orlando the next morning.
We then went through security to our gate to find out the flight was completely on time - after we'd just rebooked our second flight. So we went to the desk ready to yell, when the lady told us the flight was only 20 minutes late and already on its way to DSM from MPLS. It still put us too close to make our second flight, but at least we wouldn't be waiting in the Des Moines airport for hours... and maybe we'd be able to go play on Beal St in Memphis. I've wanted to check that out pretty bad lately.
So, we soon boarded our plane and landed in Memphis, got reservations to a hotel 7 miles from the airport, and grabbed a cab. After we got in the cab, the driver told us there was a flat rate of $41 - we all giggled. I played along saying the hotel was only 7 miles away, we giggled more, then we started to notice the meter wasn't running. When we got to the hotel - he in fact was not joking. Apparently in that 7 miles we crossed into the state of Mississippi, which is like a $30 fee, plus airport fees, plus extra people fees. I hate Memphis, Tennessee and I hate Southaven, Mississippi. If you ever get stuck in Memphis, make sure you don't cross the border. I could've rented a damn car for cheaper than our cab fee. wtf.
That said, we didn't make it to Beal St like we'd hoped. We were all so broke and couldn't afford more cab fees back and forth across the state line. I was so mad I almost punched things. ... So we celebrated with a quick swim in a buggy pool and dinner at Chilis.
Friday, we woke up and found a Mississippi based cab company called Mr Taxi. Mr Taxi was much nicer and cheaper. Brand new Lincoln Towncar back to the Memphis airport for $18. Which leads me to another thing that sucks about Memphis. There is no Dewski to be found anywhere - at least in the NWA/Delta Concourse. I mean anywhere. I know that Coca Cola has most airports taken over, but normally you can find 1 super secret Pepsi machine hidden in a random terminal. Not in the God forsaken city of Memphis Tennessee. You POS.
So we arrived in Orlando and Amy's luggage was lost - RAD! It was apparently never scanned, ever. There was absolutely no trace of it ever being at an airport aside from our baggage receipt. So while they were dealing with that, Kari and I went to rent a car, which we planned on being $150 or less. However, desperately needing a crash course in how to rent vehicles, I accepted the insurance and gas refill option which put us at $270 for a car. Thanks for raping me, Alamo. I then called Kari's dad to ask wtf was up, he laughed a lot, and said don't ever get the 2 options that I got. I made Kari go deal with it before I broke down. She got it down to $103.
Finally, we got our Malibu Maxx, met Kevi for lunch, and went to the hotel to find that Zach's soap had exploded in his luggage. The bottle was completely empty and all over his clothes.
The trip to florida was basically mass confusion, flight delays, an extra day of travel, $60 in cab rides, an extra hotel, no dewski, lost luggage, getting raped by Alamo, and exploding soap in luggage.
I really wouldn't have minded so much had we not all been so broke going into this. It was a fiasco to say the least. I hated it.
I'll write more about Kevi's wedding weekend once I get less riled up about this blog, haha.
comments
so you've basically been traveling to the same places as me the last month. i was in orlando one week after you, and in memphis two weeks before you. stop trying to be me bitch. and you missed out. Beale St. rocked. Sucka
comps posted
i know it. had i known the cab was so much, i would've just rented a car in memphis and drove myself to beale st.
derek posted
Aww sounds great wish I could have been there!
lindsey posted
I hope your ass hurts awesome from the rape and you should probably get the book "Traveling to Unwanted Destinations on a Budget" It'd be a good read for you.
Nathan posted