My Bathroom Theory (No. 2): The Toilet Seat posted
It's rant time! Ok, sometime in 04 I wrote about washing your hands after peeing and how it's stupid to do. Since I wrote the article I've paid a lot of attention to bathroom etiquette (spelled, e.t. ummmmmmm). I've noticed lots of funny things, when people wash their hands, when they don't etc. If you're sitting in a stall, and a dude can manage to slip in, pee, and then slip out without washing their hands and without you seeing them, they do so almost 90% of the time. I also noticed some people just dry their hands off after peeing - no washing at all, haha. And the difference of people that wash their hands at work and not at work is amazing. A lot less people wash their hands in a less professional environment - it's all about impressions.
Ok so enough on that - if you want more check out Bathroom Theory (No. 1).
So now for my new thought - the toilet seat. This one drives me CRAZY. I hate hearing girls complain about this, hate it. It makes me want to kick their little power trip stool right out from under them, haha. Ok, this is what I'm sick of hearing, "why don't you put the seat down after you pee!?!" "wtf, why don't you put the seat UP after YOU pee?" To which a clever girl will usually reply "more bathroom visits are spent sitting down than standing up." Followed by a snobbish, "I told you so" look. Kari did this to me just 2 days ago, haha.
Seriously, does it matter if the seat is up or down? Why don't you look at the seat before you sit down? Do you sit in the middle of a room hoping you don't fall to the floor? No, you look for a seat, if it's there you sit on it. The same goes for a bathroom. What kind of genius thinks, "I'm gonna walk in here and not look at what I might be sitting on!" I might fall into some really cold water and get a soaked backside, or worse yet, the person before me may have forgotten to flush and I may fall into something much worse. OR an even funnier situation... someone could have peed all over the seat and then you would yell, "why don't you put the seat up when you pee!?!" "wtf, do you want it up or down?" "I want it up AND down!" ... w-WHAT?
When I go to the bathroom the first thing I do is observe the seat, if it's up and I want to pee, I begin to pee. If it's down and I want to pee I put said seat up - and then I pee. If I have to hawk a dook, I don't run into the bathroom covering my eyes, giggling, and gamble with the dryness of my backside as I plunge myself toward the toilet.
So... look at the seat, position it where you want it, use the toilet, and go on with your freaking day. When you are done with the toilet, just leave the God forsaken seat alone. If you sat, leave it down, if you stood, leave it up. OR you could really trick a chick and put the lid on the toilet! Next time the blind girl goes to sit down she's gonna sit on a cold seat and possibly pee all over it and her legs, that'll show her, haha.
Ok so enough on that - if you want more check out Bathroom Theory (No. 1).
So now for my new thought - the toilet seat. This one drives me CRAZY. I hate hearing girls complain about this, hate it. It makes me want to kick their little power trip stool right out from under them, haha. Ok, this is what I'm sick of hearing, "why don't you put the seat down after you pee!?!" "wtf, why don't you put the seat UP after YOU pee?" To which a clever girl will usually reply "more bathroom visits are spent sitting down than standing up." Followed by a snobbish, "I told you so" look. Kari did this to me just 2 days ago, haha.
Seriously, does it matter if the seat is up or down? Why don't you look at the seat before you sit down? Do you sit in the middle of a room hoping you don't fall to the floor? No, you look for a seat, if it's there you sit on it. The same goes for a bathroom. What kind of genius thinks, "I'm gonna walk in here and not look at what I might be sitting on!" I might fall into some really cold water and get a soaked backside, or worse yet, the person before me may have forgotten to flush and I may fall into something much worse. OR an even funnier situation... someone could have peed all over the seat and then you would yell, "why don't you put the seat up when you pee!?!" "wtf, do you want it up or down?" "I want it up AND down!" ... w-WHAT?
When I go to the bathroom the first thing I do is observe the seat, if it's up and I want to pee, I begin to pee. If it's down and I want to pee I put said seat up - and then I pee. If I have to hawk a dook, I don't run into the bathroom covering my eyes, giggling, and gamble with the dryness of my backside as I plunge myself toward the toilet.
So... look at the seat, position it where you want it, use the toilet, and go on with your freaking day. When you are done with the toilet, just leave the God forsaken seat alone. If you sat, leave it down, if you stood, leave it up. OR you could really trick a chick and put the lid on the toilet! Next time the blind girl goes to sit down she's gonna sit on a cold seat and possibly pee all over it and her legs, that'll show her, haha.
comments
thats right.. that will show her.. stupid blind girls. man. they are sooo hot.
Harper posted
Nick growing up with a lot of girls in his life, he just automatically puts the seat down after finishing. So, I have just got accustom to this. After you left last Friday I gambled and lost.
Nicole posted
hahaha, sorry about that. at least i flushed... i shoulda put the lid down.
derek posted
nicks a wooose
Harper posted
okay.. so it generally isnt that big of a deal. and its not that i run into the bathroom with my eyes covered and giggling.. but! the time that that it is most annoying is when it is nite time and i get out of bed, still dead to the world, and without turning on the light (because i dont want to wake up derek..) and after pulling down the bottoms.. my butt is surprised by the awful cold, damp, sticky-from-dereks-pee toilet..
thats terrible.. just remember to at least put it down before you go bed. :)
kari posted
derek.broox.com/tags...o/305/
Josh posted
How do I put the seat down on Leech Lake?
Josh posted
do you honestly think those lights would wake me up? you shower and blowdry your hair every morning and i dont wake up... excuse: denied.
p.s. the "wake" coming off that pee in the lake is pretty hilarious, haha.
derek posted
You spelled "genius" wrong, genius.
Mr. Awesome posted
It's all just too much for me to keep track of, so I pee in the sink.
Moo posted
Derek, who wants to turn on lights in the middle of the night when they don't want to fully wake up?
Bre'anna posted
haha.. my bad. I thought it would be an interesting comment to read. No more awesome public service announcements from me.
Mr. Awesome posted
All I have to say is Duke Nukem!
nathan posted
Men Glued To Toilet Seats At Wal-Mart, Denny's
POSTED: 10:42 am CDT May 3, 2006
SALISBURY, Md. -- You'd think more people would check the seat before they get comfortable in a public restroom.
For the second time in a month, police in Salisbury, Md., are investigating a report of a man glued to a toilet seat.
The latest incident happened Sunday night at Wal-Mart. An employee found the 20-year-old man stuck to the seat and banging on a wall for help. The man was treated at a local hospital.
Late in the evening on April Fool's Day, a man got glued to a seat at a local Denny's restaurant.
derek posted
LOL, I heard about that. He was there for 7 hours! Haha!
Dave posted
actually that'd suck...
Dave posted