Microblog

  • There's nothin better than the scent of, "oh yeah, I ate asparagus earlier" posted 6 years ago - reply

  • @realDonaldTrump Have you considered changing your name to Dildo Daggins? posted 6 years ago - reply

  • As of last week, I have been out of high school for 20 years. 😲🤯👴 posted 6 years ago - 3 comments

  • I love living in the Midwestern rainforest posted 6 years ago - reply

  • Earlier today, I walked off of a diverted flight in Indianapolis to rent a car and race @United to DSM. I won... and I feel good about that. posted 6 years ago - reply

  • ORD shut down while on our way home... This 2019 weather can really eat shit. posted 6 years ago - reply

  • I am in Virginia. posted 6 years ago - 5 comments

  • @ibcheerful @dollcraftcraig Unless you only do carry-on and want guaranteed overhead bin space posted 6 years ago - reply

  • Just booked a flight to spend my birthday and the end of Kari's summer break in Tokyo with our buds @harper and @hiromiusagi. Stoked! posted 6 years ago - reply

  • when yer wife leaves the house to go shopping, you're really doing yourself a disservice by not blaring doom metal posted 6 years ago - reply

  • You ever ride around in a v12 with racks in the middle? posted 6 years ago - 1 comment

  • Just hung the last of 10 door jambs in my basement. 1 more thing off the list. posted 6 years ago - reply

  • How do you rent a car that's not dumb? posted 6 years ago - 18 comments

  • Just watched more intense TV posted 6 years ago - reply

  • In college, I had a Spanish professor who always insisted that it made no sense whenever my roommate and I said, "palabra a tu madre" ... I still think he was wrong. posted 6 years ago - reply

  • i ate cauliflower curry and garlic naan for breakfast and i am excited to talk to everyone very closely today. posted 6 years ago - 1 comment

  • I do not understand Kentucky Derby shit posted 6 years ago - 2 comments

  • It was a short set, but Cardi B was fucking awesome. posted 6 years ago - 3 comments

  • This may be hard to imagine, but Kodak Black is not good live. posted 6 years ago - reply

  • I just fist bumped DMX at this club in Des Moines... X gave it to me. posted 6 years ago - reply