Microblog

  • “You think you the shit? You not even the fart” - ice spice 🥰 posted 1 month ago - reply

  • Just won our broomball game. With no subs. Whew. I accidentally took their best player out a couple times. They did not like that. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • I just took Kari out for an 8 course meal and now weigh 400lbs posted 2 months ago - reply

  • Just asked for mushrooms on my sandwich at potbelly and the sandwich maker said, “you seem like a fun guy” and we laughed and laughed. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • RT @BENovator: In the @CapitalCityGoGo huddle! Fun to have @GabrielKalsche1 back in Iowa too. As @broox said, these seats are super fast… posted 2 months ago - reply

  • I just ate shit on ice while shoveling my driveway. Feet right out from under me, twisted, both knees straight to the concrete. Yow! Haven’t fallen like that in a bit. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • “It smell like gas, I think somebody pooped” might be 21 savage’s best lyric ever. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • i really like that sexyy red lyric where she says, "bend that ass over. let the coochie breathe." posted 2 months ago - reply

  • Huge bitches caucus for huge bitch. Iowa expectedly disappoints again. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • “Ugh. You listen to the worst music.” - Kari, as she enjoys a cozy, 3-day blizzard weekend with me posted 2 months ago - reply

  • @RIOzay @harper You know I’m done improving this shit hole. Plus, I had mine cleared before my neighbor’s heated driveway melted. 💪💪 posted 2 months ago - reply

  • Just spent a couple hours digging out the driveway. Present me would like to punch past me for having the driveway expanded. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • I just had a cold brew coffee that has the same amount of caffeine as 3 dewskis and holy shitballs. I feel like I wanna spar or climb a wall or something. Is this what it feels like to be a coffee drinker? posted 2 months ago - reply

  • Yay areaaaaa posted 2 months ago - reply

  • After today’s cancelations, delays, and flight changes, I’m sitting in the tiniest airport that I’ve ever been to, in Northern California. 1 gate. No jet bridges. The only food is a vending machine. I would kill for some shitty wings and a beer from an airport TGIFridays rn. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • I was supposed to fly to SFO via ORD on a Boeing 737 Max 9 today… it was canceled because United identified the aircraft to have loose bolts on the same door plug that just blew out of the Alaska Airlines flight. That could’ve been an adventure. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • I scored tonight at broomball. And we won. Booyeah. Baby. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • Heading to San Francisco tomorrow til Thursday. It’s been a minute since I’ve been to the bay. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • @newz2000 Oh yeah. I can break it, but it takes a lot of effort. posted 2 months ago - reply

  • “Oh my God, you’re such a perfectionist. It’s exhausting,” Kari says to me, as I work on my chia pet. posted 2 months ago - reply