Microblog

  • Sometimes I pound my mornin dewski too fast and spill it all over my shirtless chest. posted 7 years ago - 1 comment

  • Now matter how many times I've seen atmosphere perform... If he's town, I'll see him again. Dude's a pro. posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Let's go to @8035! posted 7 years ago - reply

  • ⚠️ ONE MONTH TIL MY BIRTHDAY ⚠️ posted 7 years ago - 1 comment

  • So, a mentally unwell (drugs or ???) woman stumbled into my yoga class, mid-session and decided to awkwardly hang out for the whole sesh... 🙃 posted 7 years ago - 6 comments

  • @realDonaldTrump Happy fourth, dickless. posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Sit-down concerts are super weird. posted 7 years ago - reply

  • It's not too often that I feel like the young guy at concerts anymore, but this Pixies show... Def young boi. posted 7 years ago - reply

  • @RyanK I like to imagine that they just obliterate the dog poops with a shotgun posted 7 years ago - reply

  • This was just down the street from the wedding we were at least night. twitter.com/TrailSim...975937 posted 7 years ago - reply

  • While leaving some good friends' wedding, I heard that our city got slammed with torrential downpours and flash floods. I excitedly came home to check the sump pump that we installed... It is still bone dry. 💸 posted 7 years ago - 2 comments

  • I think that kids should not be allowed to use public pools until they're atleast 21 posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Every time I want an Uber home, I open the Sonos app, and every time I want to change the music at home, I open the Uber app. posted 7 years ago - 1 comment

  • I need to learn how to hit home runs posted 7 years ago - reply

  • I picked up this giant toad and showed it to @kbroox in our garden. She reacted by jumping off of the nearest retaining wall like... t.co/0I3JuaB6EZ posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Look at this thing that my team started rolling out today. t.co/Da7nSB1a4T posted 7 years ago - reply

  • My armpits smell like cooked celery rn posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Every time I read political commentary online, I come back to: the right are insane and the left are little baby pussies. posted 7 years ago - reply

  • Just took a nap. wtf. posted 7 years ago - 1 comment

  • Organic. Cotton Candy. Grapes. posted 7 years ago - reply