I just ate shit on ice while shoveling my driveway. Feet right out from under me, twisted, both knees straight to the concrete. Yow! Haven’t fallen like that in a bit.
posted 10 months ago
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“It smell like gas, I think somebody pooped”
might be 21 savage’s best lyric ever.
posted 10 months ago
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i really like that sexyy red lyric where she says, "bend that ass over. let the coochie breathe."
posted 10 months ago
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Huge bitches caucus for huge bitch.
Iowa expectedly disappoints again.
posted 10 months ago
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“Ugh. You listen to the worst music.”
- Kari, as she enjoys a cozy, 3-day blizzard weekend with me
posted 10 months ago
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@RIOzay @harper You know I’m done improving this shit hole.
Plus, I had mine cleared before my neighbor’s heated driveway melted. 💪💪
posted 10 months ago
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Just spent a couple hours digging out the driveway.
Present me would like to punch past me for having the driveway expanded.
posted 10 months ago
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I just had a cold brew coffee that has the same amount of caffeine as 3 dewskis and holy shitballs. I feel like I wanna spar or climb a wall or something.
Is this what it feels like to be a coffee drinker?
posted 11 months ago
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After today’s cancelations, delays, and flight changes, I’m sitting in the tiniest airport that I’ve ever been to, in Northern California. 1 gate. No jet bridges. The only food is a vending machine.
I would kill for some shitty wings and a beer from an airport TGIFridays rn.
posted 11 months ago
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I was supposed to fly to SFO via ORD on a Boeing 737 Max 9 today… it was canceled because United identified the aircraft to have loose bolts on the same door plug that just blew out of the Alaska Airlines flight.
That could’ve been an adventure.
posted 11 months ago
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I scored tonight at broomball. And we won. Booyeah. Baby.
posted 11 months ago
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Heading to San Francisco tomorrow til Thursday. It’s been a minute since I’ve been to the bay.
posted 11 months ago
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my dog has learned that when i finally put pants/socks on for the day, he is about to get a walk.
getting dressed has unexpectedly become a very exciting time for us.
posted 11 months ago
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Last day of holiday break. Goin for chill, quiet vibes all day.
posted 11 months ago
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