Fuck the police. Never forget. Or always remember.
posted 1 year ago
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i am having a very hard time prioritizing my allowance between bronco upgrades, concerts, tattoos, hockey equipment, home audio upgrades, and travel.
posted 1 year ago
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We’re in overtime at this basketball game and the guy behind just had a really good idea. He said, “we just gotta score on every possession.”
posted 1 year ago
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“Oops, they touched each other”
- basketball
posted 1 year ago
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You what really grinds my gears? Having to cook and clean and do dishes and shit. God.
posted 1 year ago
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Last night @kbroox and I had courtside seats to a basketball game where the score was 157-156, with 2 buzzer beaters in the last 3 seconds to flip the game back and forth. It was a very fun game.
posted 1 year ago
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Financial advisor just said that Kari and I have a 90% probability of retiring by 55 and continuing to live our current lifestyle… but that didn’t include any Ferraris.
So I apparently need to make some changes.
posted 1 year ago
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“You think you the shit? You not even the fart”
- ice spice 🥰
posted 1 year ago
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Just won our broomball game. With no subs. Whew.
I accidentally took their best player out a couple times.
They did not like that.
posted 1 year ago
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I just took Kari out for an 8 course meal and now weigh 400lbs
posted 1 year ago
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Just asked for mushrooms on my sandwich at potbelly and the sandwich maker said, “you seem like a fun guy” and we laughed and laughed.
posted 1 year ago
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I just ate shit on ice while shoveling my driveway. Feet right out from under me, twisted, both knees straight to the concrete. Yow! Haven’t fallen like that in a bit.
posted 1 year ago
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“It smell like gas, I think somebody pooped”
might be 21 savage’s best lyric ever.
posted 1 year ago
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i really like that sexyy red lyric where she says, "bend that ass over. let the coochie breathe."
posted 1 year ago
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Huge bitches caucus for huge bitch.
Iowa expectedly disappoints again.
posted 1 year ago
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“Ugh. You listen to the worst music.”
- Kari, as she enjoys a cozy, 3-day blizzard weekend with me
posted 1 year ago
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@RIOzay @harper You know I’m done improving this shit hole.
Plus, I had mine cleared before my neighbor’s heated driveway melted. 💪💪
posted 1 year ago
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