“You should try to stop gaining weight”
- my doctor
posted 11 months ago
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Kari leaving town is not good for my health
posted 12 months ago
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Kari just left town for the night, and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
posted 12 months ago
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I got a promotion today. I’m a big time software boi now.
posted 12 months ago
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Dreamt that I got an early delivery of the Tesla truck. It was fun to show people, but I had big regrets and wanted to flip it.
I think this was inspired by a meme that I saw yesterday, but it was also the realest dream that I’ve had in a while. Hahah.
What a silly vehicle.
posted 12 months ago
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This morning I stepped on my Withings scale and then quickly stepped off before it registered who I was cause I was unhappy with the results.
#FatBoyFall
posted 1 year ago
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I really enjoy doing things that make my dog look at me like, “wtf”
posted 1 year ago
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Can you imagine listening to white/rob zombie without the volume cranked?
posted 1 year ago
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Kari just left for Denver.
Who wants to party?
Or play video games, blare awful music, wrestle, get dinner, or burn down my house or something.
posted 1 year ago
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FLEUR DRIVE IS WIDE OPEN!
HOLY SHIT!
posted 1 year ago
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Kari just came into my office, pointed a knife at me and said, “you’re not doing a very good job taking care of my needs. I need you to make me a drink!”
And then she said, “don’t tweet that!”
posted 1 year ago
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I just learned that McJagger’s name is not spelled like McJagger.
posted 1 year ago
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The problem with wearing stretchy-ass, comfy diesel pants all the time is not having immediate feedback about how fat you’re getting.
Just tried to put on some raw denim jeans and died.
posted 1 year ago
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