“You think you the shit? You not even the fart”
- ice spice 🥰
posted 1 year ago
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Just won our broomball game. With no subs. Whew.
I accidentally took their best player out a couple times.
They did not like that.
posted 1 year ago
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I just took Kari out for an 8 course meal and now weigh 400lbs
posted 1 year ago
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Just asked for mushrooms on my sandwich at potbelly and the sandwich maker said, “you seem like a fun guy” and we laughed and laughed.
posted 1 year ago
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I just ate shit on ice while shoveling my driveway. Feet right out from under me, twisted, both knees straight to the concrete. Yow! Haven’t fallen like that in a bit.
posted 1 year ago
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“It smell like gas, I think somebody pooped”
might be 21 savage’s best lyric ever.
posted 1 year ago
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i really like that sexyy red lyric where she says, "bend that ass over. let the coochie breathe."
posted 1 year ago
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Huge bitches caucus for huge bitch.
Iowa expectedly disappoints again.
posted 1 year ago
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“Ugh. You listen to the worst music.”
- Kari, as she enjoys a cozy, 3-day blizzard weekend with me
posted 1 year ago
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@RIOzay @harper You know I’m done improving this shit hole.
Plus, I had mine cleared before my neighbor’s heated driveway melted. 💪💪
posted 1 year ago
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Just spent a couple hours digging out the driveway.
Present me would like to punch past me for having the driveway expanded.
posted 1 year ago
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I just had a cold brew coffee that has the same amount of caffeine as 3 dewskis and holy shitballs. I feel like I wanna spar or climb a wall or something.
Is this what it feels like to be a coffee drinker?
posted 1 year ago
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After today’s cancelations, delays, and flight changes, I’m sitting in the tiniest airport that I’ve ever been to, in Northern California. 1 gate. No jet bridges. The only food is a vending machine.
I would kill for some shitty wings and a beer from an airport TGIFridays rn.
posted 1 year ago
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I was supposed to fly to SFO via ORD on a Boeing 737 Max 9 today… it was canceled because United identified the aircraft to have loose bolts on the same door plug that just blew out of the Alaska Airlines flight.
That could’ve been an adventure.
posted 1 year ago
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I scored tonight at broomball. And we won. Booyeah. Baby.
posted 1 year ago
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Heading to San Francisco tomorrow til Thursday. It’s been a minute since I’ve been to the bay.
posted 1 year ago
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