After a year of waiting and going back and forth, I think, next week, we're finally gonna get all the landscaping we've been looking for. #housestuff
posted 7 years ago
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1 comment
That moment you go out to the back yard and realize your patio Sonos has been paired with your other speakers... Blaring horrible hip hop for the neighbors all day.
posted 7 years ago
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1 comment
Artists that currently and consistently make me shout, "STFU" and immediately change the track: Tee Grizzley and Juice WRLD
posted 7 years ago
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I wish my home's A/C could be cranked up like my car's A/C
posted 7 years ago
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These fancy girls just walked into this fancy cocktail bar and ordered a custom cocktail. The bartender killed the presentation and all. The girls, amazed, asked what it was called and he replied, "deez nuts." their faces exploded and I literally died. RIP me.
posted 7 years ago
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2 comments
This Uber driver is trying to play an FM Christian radio station based ~70 miles away. It is 1/4 Christian music, 1/4 talk radio interference, 1/2 pure static. 1 star.
posted 7 years ago
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2 comments
Just bought a 5 hour energy drink and an 8lb maul. Let's party
posted 7 years ago
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Walked up to my softball game tonight and heard, "Derek, what in the hell are you wearing?" ... apparently, cut off jean shorts and pink tanks are not proper attire.
posted 7 years ago
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For some reason I woke up stupid early, raked the lawn, cleaned out the gutters, cleaned off the roof, and hosed out the garbage cans before work. wtf.
posted 7 years ago
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2 comments
Apple just turned the Apple watch into a Nextel.
posted 7 years ago
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Another thing I wasn't prepared for when I joined the gym is the amount of primping that dudes do in the locker room. Jesus Christ.
posted 7 years ago
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2 comments
Kari owned me on a, "did you try to unplug it and plug it back in" situation this weekend. After I smugly debugged a problem in every other way, she was right... I am proud.
posted 7 years ago
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🚨 GREEK FEST IS OUT OF KABOBS 🚨
posted 7 years ago
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Just finished building a bunch of shelves and organizing my heap of a shed... I see a shower beer in my very near future.
posted 7 years ago
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1 comment
